FBI Wants Your Help In Identifying Two MAGA Suspects Allegedly Involved In The Master Planning Of The January 6 Insurrection Of The U.S. Capitol, $10M Reward Offered

The FBI is offering $10M dollars each for any information leading to the identity, arrest and conviction of two suspects believed to have planned the January 6 insurrection of the U.S. Capitol building.

April 1, 2021

Washington, D.C. - On Thursday, the FBI released a photo of two alleged suspects wanted in connection with the master planning of the mass MAGA insurrection attempt at the U.S. Capitol to keep Trump as President. The MAGA (Make Amerikkka Great Again/Keep Amerikkka Great) movement had been under the FBI radar for the last four years, but a photo of the two suspects and details leaked from a sealed indictment by unnamed FBI government informants that described how the two alleged suspects who have not been identified yet gathered at a local restaurant in an undisclosed location in Wisconsin to plan the U.S. Capitol insurrection and a takeover of a local alternative news source by creating a fake Facebook MAGA/QAnon page in the State to promote hate and Nazi propaganda targeted at the Latino and communities of color around the country in order to recruit supremacists, NeoNazis,  White nationalists and KKK sympathizers including so called White armed Patriots known for their chanting of "U.S.A., U.S.A." (United Supremacists of Amerikkka) at Trump MAGA rallies throughout the U.S. in 2020 to keep Trump in office for 4 more years.

Trump lost his reelection bid in November 2020 to a popular sleeping candidate who during most of the campaign for President spent his time in the basement waiting for the MAGA Armageddon, which never occurred. The FBI believes that the MAGA attempted insurrection was planned in an effort to keep the sleeping candidate from being confirmed as President by the U.S. Congress, which was meeting live on national news networks to confirm the Electoral College vote results.

The World witnessed the MAGA insurrection unfold.

The FBI is offering $10,000,000 (U.S. Monopoly dollars) reward for each suspect in the photo and for any information leading to the identity, arrest and conviction of the suspects who allegedly were behind the MAGA mob hostile insurrection planning of the U.S. Capitol that also allegedly involved multiple MAGA U.S. House Representatives and U.S. Senators. The male suspect with glasses is believed to have fled to Mexico and the smiling female suspect in the FBI photo is believed to have fled to Puerto Rico to avoid a Banana Republic Kangaroo court prosecution, according to the FBI.

FBI stands for Fools Bureau of Investigation.

Source: Zorillo Network (Purely Satire/April Fools Day entertainment and the plot, certain references to incidents and characters are just purely coincidental and fictional.)